Empty

It’s been a very long time since I’ve written even the first line of a song lyric. As always, at this time of the year, that puts me in a bit of a panic. Well, I have written down a line now and again, only to delete it immediately, because I’ve felt what I’ve written has been too much like the old me. I prefer not to write at all, rather than to go back to something I don’t feel works anymore.

 
The feeling I get when I haven’t managed to write one single new lyric for months is a big feeling of emptiness mixed together with feelings of fear and failure. Today these feelings had become so hard to live with that I decided to force myself to write a new lyric. Forcing something down on paper is not an approach I recommend, but I did have a few ideas that had been lingering for a while. I felt I wanted to write a lyric called Empty, because of how I felt, even if the Empty in the lyric was a different one to the one, I carry around with me when I’ve got writer’s block.

 
I won’t explain my lyric, because if I must explain it, I have failed already. All I will say is that I sort of glued together three different song ideas into one and used a few metaphors that had been hanging around for a while and in that way, I managed to get a finished lyric. Well as finished as a lyric ever is.

 
As I said, todays effort is called “Empty”. Whether it has taken me forward, backwards or nowhere what so ever as a lyric writer isn’t mine to say, but the lyric does have a beginning, the story is moving forward and it does have a conclusion of a sort so, so far so good. I have to say I would like to hear it put to music.

 
Take care until next time and Happy Writing!
Åsa

 

Empty
Can I ask you a question?
Said a lady on the train.
Sure, I answered, nothing to lose
can’t promise no gain.

I’m writing a love song, but
I’ve forgotten how it feels.
When my heart is beating faster
and I feel weak at my knees.

Chorus
Instead I’m empty, just empty, like a closedown mall at night.
Empty, just empty, like the word from a drunk, high as a kite.
Empty, just empty, like a beach on a freezing winter’s day.
Empty, just empty, like a phone call, when there is nothing left to say.

I’m not sure I can help you,
I told the lady on the train.
We’re sort of in the same boat,
and my life is very plain.

I did know that feeling, but
then something just went wrong.
After that I told myself
to stay single and be strong.

Bridge
I want to feel the flutter of a thousand butterflies.
I want to be so happy, I don’t care if I’m told lies.
I want to be unable to work or eat or think.
I want to feel so much in love, I might forget that I hate pink.

Chorus
Instead I’m empty, just empty, like a closedown mall at night.
Empty, just empty, like the word from a drunk, high as a kite.
Empty, just empty, like a beach on an ice-cold winter’s day.
Empty, just empty, like a phone call, when there is nothing left to say.
©Åsa Sandberg 2019

Advertisements

A Million Dreams is all it’s gonna Take

Sometimes it’s a good thing to be interrupted. Yesterday was such a day. I had written half of my blog when I had to stop and after that I never got back to it. Today I realise how lucky that was, because yesterday I was on the brink of giving up and what I had written before having to take a break, was anything but fun.

 
Yes, I do despair because I can’t see any doors, windows or even a small crack of light anywhere that could be the one thing to bring my lyrics closer to anyone that will see some sort of potential in them and give me a chance. Yes, I do despair when people who have promised to do things, never fulfil their promises and do not even bother to communicate the reason why this is. I really don’t understand that kind of behaviour.

 

Equally I cannot understand that people don’t answer a simple question like; “Do you compose music to other people’s lyrics?” I asked that precise question recently of someone born in the same neck of the woods as I am, but I was totally ignored. Actually, It made me feel quite stupid. It felt like I was punching way above my weight and should know better than thinking that someone with this person’s skill should ever need to bother with someone like me.

 
Add to that the horrors about the competition that I have recently realised was nothing but a family business, filled with people who are now busy buying villas in exotic environments and building a life in warm and sunny places from money they’ve stolen from people’s dreams. Still, what I find even worse is that there seem to be so many individuals that, even after knowing this about the competition, are willing to continue to fund this family’s life of leisure. They continue to send in their songs and lyrics “for the fun of it”. That really makes me angry. Because while that is going on, there is no way of stopping this scam.

 
Anyway, putting all of that aside, I woke with a much brighter outlook on the world this morning and was very pleased that what I had written yesterday will never be published in this forum. Since Friday is a day when I don’t need to go out to work, I started my day by watching “The Greatest Showman” yet again. I absolutely love that film and can’t get enough of the songs.

 
One especially stuck with me this morning, because it really describes me and how I am as a person.

 
“Cause every night I lie in bed.
The brightest colours fill my head.
A million dreams are keeping me awake.
I think of what the world could be.
A vision of the one I see.
A million dreams is all it’s gonna take.
A million dreams for the world
I’m gonna make.”

 
I’ve always been a dreamer. It’s the best and the worst part of me at the same time. It was the part of me that helped me keep my sanity as a child, but it has also been the part of me that has made me crash and burn so many times, when one dream or another has either materialised, or has been so close that I could almost touch it, only for it to be taken away from me again. Those times being a dreamer is very hard, because it means that I crash and burn to a point from where I almost can’t find the strength to stand up, dust myself down, and start all over again.

 
What I thought of when hearing this song this morning was that I’ve been dreaming for over fifty years now and I’ve been dreaming a lot, so I can’t be far away from my million dreams. Therefore, I can’t stop now, because if I do all my accumulated dreams will roll over to the random person that is next in line for having their dreams realised, but who dared to dream for a bit longer than I did.

 
A million dreams is all it’s gonna take!

 

Take care until next time and Happy Writing!

Åsa