Empty

It’s been a very long time since I’ve written even the first line of a song lyric. As always, at this time of the year, that puts me in a bit of a panic. Well, I have written down a line now and again, only to delete it immediately, because I’ve felt what I’ve written has been too much like the old me. I prefer not to write at all, rather than to go back to something I don’t feel works anymore.

 
The feeling I get when I haven’t managed to write one single new lyric for months is a big feeling of emptiness mixed together with feelings of fear and failure. Today these feelings had become so hard to live with that I decided to force myself to write a new lyric. Forcing something down on paper is not an approach I recommend, but I did have a few ideas that had been lingering for a while. I felt I wanted to write a lyric called Empty, because of how I felt, even if the Empty in the lyric was a different one to the one, I carry around with me when I’ve got writer’s block.

 
I won’t explain my lyric, because if I must explain it, I have failed already. All I will say is that I sort of glued together three different song ideas into one and used a few metaphors that had been hanging around for a while and in that way, I managed to get a finished lyric. Well as finished as a lyric ever is.

 
As I said, todays effort is called “Empty”. Whether it has taken me forward, backwards or nowhere what so ever as a lyric writer isn’t mine to say, but the lyric does have a beginning, the story is moving forward and it does have a conclusion of a sort so, so far so good. I have to say I would like to hear it put to music.

 
Take care until next time and Happy Writing!
Åsa

 

Empty
Can I ask you a question?
Said a lady on the train.
Sure, I answered, nothing to lose
can’t promise no gain.

I’m writing a love song, but
I’ve forgotten how it feels.
When my heart is beating faster
and I feel weak at my knees.

Chorus
Instead I’m empty, just empty, like a closedown mall at night.
Empty, just empty, like the word from a drunk, high as a kite.
Empty, just empty, like a beach on a freezing winter’s day.
Empty, just empty, like a phone call, when there is nothing left to say.

I’m not sure I can help you,
I told the lady on the train.
We’re sort of in the same boat,
and my life is very plain.

I did know that feeling, but
then something just went wrong.
After that I told myself
to stay single and be strong.

Bridge
I want to feel the flutter of a thousand butterflies.
I want to be so happy, I don’t care if I’m told lies.
I want to be unable to work or eat or think.
I want to feel so much in love, I might forget that I hate pink.

Chorus
Instead I’m empty, just empty, like a closedown mall at night.
Empty, just empty, like the word from a drunk, high as a kite.
Empty, just empty, like a beach on an ice-cold winter’s day.
Empty, just empty, like a phone call, when there is nothing left to say.
©Åsa Sandberg 2019

Drawing blank

I’ve been sitting in front of my screen for almost an hour now, staring at the cursor on my empty page. It happens now and again. Sometimes something really good can come out of the fear and panic a blank pace can stir in me. Because if my mind is equally blank, it is the ultimate challenge. Other times I just know it is one of the days when all my creativity has left the building and whatever I write will end up in one bin or another as trash.

 
I think the reason I’m drawing blank at the moment is because I’ve taken a step forward. I have found a new formula to my lyric-writing and now I’m trying a bit too hard to repeat the process. Sadly, I can’t find one single topic that feels right to write about in the easy flowing way I’ve just discovered. My old habit to complicate things isn’t yet broken.

 
At the same time, I’m annoyed with myself, because since my recent breakthrough I’ve noticed that I feel a bit ashamed over a lot of my old work which I was quite proud of only twelve months ago. This feeling is something I have to get past, because at that point in my life those lyrics were my best. I wrote to the best of my ability, and because I did my best I should not carry this feeling of shame around with me. Instead I should be grateful for my earlier work. Without all those lyrics I wouldn’t have had any kind of development. All my previous lyrics are steppingstones on my way to where I’m at now. If I’m lucky (in a not too far away future) where I’m at now will also become a steppingstone towards something better. This is why I have to get back to my sense of pride over my earlier work. They are a big part of me and I’m starting to learn that we all must value ourselves before we truly can value someone else. It’s not ego, it is a healthy mind.

 
Anyway, back to my blank page. Something I’ve done in the past, when I’ve struggled with topics is to ask friends to give me a word and then I’ve written a lyric around that word. Once I was given the word “Airport” by my good friend and collaborator Fredrik Holm. From this word a song lyric developed called “Starting from scratch once more”, which made the semi-finals in UKSC in 2016. Fredrik later wrote a melody to the lyrics and I will share both the lyrics and the demo with you today.

 
This is sadly my only blog this week, because during the night I’ve come down with a nasty cold that has placed itself in my ears, so I will have to take a few days off to nurse my ear ache. See you all in a week’s time.

 
Take care and Happy Writing!
Åsa

 


Starting from scratch once more (Semi-finalist in UKSC 2016)

Two empty chairs by a table,
forced them together one day.
A busy lounge at an airport,
connected them straight away.

He had a ring on his finger,
a set life to live somewhere.
She had a bag full of nothing,
and wanted to feel and share.

Chorus
As soon as their eyes met they knew,
they’d found a soulmate out of the blue.
It felt like they’d met before,
had so much they wanted to explore.
But he was soon leaving for Rome,
then returning for duties back home.
She was heading to Singapore,
where she was starting from scratch once more.
Now feeling anything but sure,
she was starting from scratch once more.

One more gin and they were leaving.
Didn’t share email or phone.
Both wondering as they were parting,
how they could feel so alone.

Doing the “right thing” as people,
knowing deep down it was wrong.
Wanting to follow their instinct,
the feeling that they belong.

Chorus
As soon as their eyes met they knew,
they’d found a soulmate out of the blue.
It felt like they’d met before,
had so much they wanted to explore.
But he was soon leaving for Rome,
then returning for duties back home.
She was heading to Singapore,
where she was starting from scratch once more.
Now feeling anything but sure,
she was starting from scratch once more.
©2016 Åsa Sandberg